Relationships:  3 easy steps to loving without losing your mind

Relationships nourish our soul, spirit, mind, heart…doesn’t matter what you call it.  That feeling of commitment towards one another, and the ability to navigate possibly toxic pools of emotions are an essential part of our inner well being – and that directly impacts our outer well being.

Jeffrey Bernstein, in Psychology Today, reminds us that love isn’t enough to sustain a long-term relationship.  It’s about understanding, and honoring the evolving needs of our partners in life, or in his words…empathy.  Really trying to put ourselves in the other’s shoes.

In addition, Dr. Andrea Bonior reminds us that without forgiveness and an overall positive outlook, we are bound to drive ourselves into despair and bitterness. There are small things we can do on a daily basis to bring ourselves joy and happiness in all aspects of our lives…why not share that with the people we love.

Part of practicing yoga and ayurveda in the modern world is about navigating the circuitous road of life, right  in the midst of our chaotic lives. We don’t all get to escape to a retreat in the Himalayas and hibernate until our troubles melt away.   It can get complicated and crazy to say the minimum. We aren’t alone on this road, and the people we travel with either hinder us or help us.  Here’s hoping for help!

  • Let down your guard, if you want it to work.  How often do we color our interaction with things that happened in the past, things we think might happen in the future, things we ‘just know’ because…?  What if we took each interaction on its own merit?  What if we decided that this moment is just that?  This moment.  Don’t let FEAR decide how you will behave – fear of the past as an indicator of the future, or plain old fear of the future, none of it.  Remember that in this moment everything is fine.  Be open to this moment, without putting up your defenses. Approach life like a kindergartner would…with earnest curiosity and no judgment.
  • Identify what you need, and what the other person needs from that relationship.  Cuddles, conversation, companionship, community?  Remember, no one person can satisfy all your relationship needs…that is why we have friends and family. And secondly, you cannot receive without giving.  A relationship is an exchange, a give and a take, and an imbalance here is the recipe for disaster. So be sure and do your share.
  • Compromise is a good thing. Now – right now. You don’t always get to be right, you don’t always get to have your way. But as long as you remember not to put your guard up (rule number 1) and decide to be open to every moment that comes along…you may notice that it isn’t a compromise after all to watch Lethal Weapon and all its sequels for the 653rd time.  Now maybe you can laugh at the toilet bomb. Or not. Just shove some organic popcorn in your mouth and chew. Forgo the sarcastic remark.

I know I said three steps but if you are interested in going deeper:

Number four -forgive yourself, and forgive the other person.  We all do stupid things, and since we are most likely all humans, we shall continue to do stupid things. Try not to, maybe count  to 10, or leave the room. Just as you are trying to find your best life, so is the other person. Besides, guilt uses up valuable energy that can be better used to develop number five on the list.

Number five – (I know, I know…but this one applies to life in general)  – laugh.  Often.  Very often.  Maybe even throw in a fake laugh every now and then, see if it doesn’t become a habit.  If it didn’t piss you off so much, it was probably kind of funny.  Think about it.

Last- something you can do on a daily basis…say something nice, intentionally. Mean it. Period. No further explanation. And since I am a yoga practitioner – not a rule…just a suggestion:


Take a class, use google as a guide, find an app, whatever works. There is a lot out there and it is there for a very good reason.  It works – better than anything else. Just remember to let your guard down when you do J


Milan Sandhu E-RYT200
Yoga and Wellness Coach
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Sciatica Pain… How to Kick it in the Butt (pun intended :)



                                                   Crystall™ Toe-Thong Sandals

The sciatic nerve is that really long nerve that starts in the lower back and moves all the way down the leg, so that when there is pressure on it, or it is inflamed, it causes pain that can spread from the lower back, into the hips and all the way down.   There are many pharmaceutical methods of ‘dealing’ with it – pain killers and anti-inflammatory drugs, and while they may eliminate the symptom they will not, repeat, will not fix the root cause. The root cause can be a physical imbalance caused by movement, or repeated motions, a lack of movement, an injury, etc.  You get the picture.  It didn’t just happen out of nowhere.  It has probably been months, if not years, in the making.

So it may take a while to sort out and remove the root cause.  If you read this correctly, there is good news and bad.  It can be fixed.  It can take a while.  What you did not read is that there is some work to be done – by the sufferer of the sciatic pain.

You know by now that yoga is always the answer to all of life’s problems according to Yoga with Milan – and in that spirit is of course the stretching and strengthening of certain muscles to alleviate the pain and ultimately kick it in its butt!  Give yourself 10-15 minutes a day and try these poses below:

Start with a simple standard bridge pose bringing your feet close in to the body, hip width apart, and inhale as you lift the hips as high as they will go for you comfortably. Repeat 5-10 times and then hold the last one for about 5 full breaths ( one breath is a full inhale and full exhale)


Next try to extend one leg out to the wall across from you as you do bridge with the other leg (one legged bridge) and repeat on each side 5-10 times


Go ahead and relieve the fatigue a bit by pulling both legs in close to the body again (hip width apart) and then place one foot on the opposite thigh and pull both legs in to the chest.  This should help stretch the piriformis which can often be a cause of sciatic pain.

IMG_0567 (Edited)

After you have given yourself a few moments, then come onto all fours.  Line up so your hips are over your heals and your shoulders are over your wrists.  Extend one leg out behind you, pushing into the heels, and then bring it back into the chest, repeating this movement until you feel some fatigue in the glutes, then extend it and hold it out for 5-10 breaths. Repeat on the other side.  (I know you may feel the sciatic pain only on one side, but we don’t want to create imbalances by only working one side :)) See below.

Finally – end with a dead bug for a few (or longer) breaths.


Remember, your own body will tell you when too much is too much – listen.  If you feel your breath getting ragged, or you are moaning or groaning – this is a wonderful indication that you may have done more than you need. We have pain for a reason and when you respect that reason – your body is bound to love you more 🙂

I’d love to hear from you if this post helped you at all – or even if it didn’t.  Peace to all


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Living your Best Life: Ayurveda to the Rescue

Join Us In February 4th at 10-2  at the West Chester Wellness Center (828 Paoli Pike, West Chester PA)
Ayurveda has served us well for well over 5000 years…and there’s a reason

There are simple changes we can make in our lives that help us to live productive and functional lives well into our 80’s 90’s and beyond. We are meant to enjoy our lives and live it fully in harmony with our environment – small changes equal big payback. It’s never to early to start.

We will also cover the how-to of cooking and enjoying a plant based diet and that means lunch will be served!

There will be light refreshments served, followed by lunch

$60  with early bird discount by Jan 28th- or $65 at the door

Contact  Milan Sandhu:

call or text: 508-561-7428

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2015 and Being Present

Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties – Helen Keller

Who can argue with Helen Keller? She had every reason to be bitter, angry, self-absorbed and full of self-pity…and likely no one would have begrudged her those feelings. We all know that isn’t how she lived her life at all.

Let’s take a page from her book and remember that there are a million reasons to be dissatisfied with life, let’s focus on the few that enable us to choose gratitude and joy.

Each moment on its own is perfect – every one of us is perfect even within our own imperfections – just stay with that moment and drop all past and present notions. Let yourself be happy!

May 2015 be an incredible year for all!

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Yoga Teacher Training 200 Hr Yoga Alliance Certified


So perhaps you’ve heard that I can now officially certify you as a yoga instructor, for 200 hours as per the yoga alliance. But do you really want to? Why do you want to teach…and more to the point, why do you want to spend a couple of thousand dollars on a certification that will definitely make you feel good – literally and figuratively – but will likely take you many years to recover as an investment.

Yes, that is right. There is no money to be made as a Yoga Instructor (except for the few elite and otherwise blessed). The rest of us can only hope to eek out a meager living in terms of money, but no doubt it will be full of blessings and joyful moments when you realize that you really did make a difference in someone’s life. However, in my experience, blessings don’t fill a person’s belly. Nor do joyful moments. They also don’t pay your bills…when was the last time you told PECO you could offer them the an awesome pain-free back in exchange for one years worth of lights and internet. Hint: It doesn’t work.

So if you have someone amazing in your life that will pay your bills as you bring happiness and a pain-free life to the masses – then please continue. Call me, by all means, at 508-561-7428 or email me at

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Best Gift Ever – Holiday Deals – Great Way to Begin 2015

Nuad Boron – Lazy man’s yoga – the passive way to achieve a relaxed, pain free, well functioning body

This holiday season you can share the many health benefits of Thai Yoga Therapy with your loved ones or friends, or anyone you think could use some relaxation in their life!

It is a fully clothed passive stretching of the limbs and spine, combined with acupressure that gets your circulation pumping, your energy lines unblocked, your lymph glands moving, and aches and pains relieved.

One hour massage – Holiday Special $70 (was $80)*
Ninety minute – Holiday Special $100 (was $110)* includes steamed herbals and aromatherapy

*There will be a driving surcharge depending on the distance. If you come to the West Chester Wellness Center there is no driving charge

email – to set up an appointment
call- 508-562-7428

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Say goodbye to stress….

Yoga Nidra

The benefits of Yoga Nidra, or ‘yogic sleep’ are numerous, it brings you to a state of relaxation that surpasses the average sleep cycle and in one hour allows you the rest of several hours of sleep. You are taken through several stages of a guided meditation while lying in savasana, and finally reach a point of deep awareness and calm.


  • reduced stress
  • reduced anxiety
  • reduced chronic pain
  • reduced fatigue
  • increased happiness

Aside from bringing you to a relaxed state of mind, a regular practice of Yoga Nidra helps you to  access the creative potential of your mind.  When we shed the burden of an overstressed sympathetic system, when we allow our adrenal glands to rest and limit the cortisol production within our body, we open ourselves to a more fulfilling and stress free life.  Healing begins to occur and our body, mind and spirit become stronger and more cohesive.  We begin to find and reach our soul’s true purpose.  It sounds lofty,sure…but isn’t it worth a try?  

I’m attaching a link for Yoga Nidra on youtube…feel free to search others.  But this is a nice one..short and sweet 🙂

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Oil Pulling

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Oil Pulling is one of the best ways to protect your oral health.  It helps to remove plaque, helps to remove bacteria from your mouth, helps to whiten teeth, helps to rebuild enamel on your teeth, and possibly even re-mineralize the dentin below your enamel and help naturally refill shallow cavities. Why do I know this?  Because one year ago my dentist told me to make an appointment to fill my cavities.  Being the cowardly dental patient that I am…I didn’t.  Instead, I stopped brushing my teeth with toothpaste…yes, you read that right, stopped brushing with toothpaste, stopped flossing, yes…again, read that right, and started an entirely new routine regarding my teeth.

I began oil pulling several times a day – but at least once, and began using toothpowder to massage my gums.  I also used the toothpowder to brush the surface of my teeth.  The fluoride and chalky white stuff in toothpaste had eroded the surface of my teeth so that they were extremely sensitive and susceptible to cavities.  All the flossing in the world wasn’t helping – because I did try that too.

Now one year later, my dentist looked at my teeth and said “Let’s look at that with an x-ray image.  Hmmm…I think we may be able to use fluoride to fix that…you see that little bit of gray over there and that little bit of…” so away I came with a prescription strength fluoride to fix my teeth.

What is my plan – don’t tell my dentist – but oil pulling.  I will keep you posted and let you know how this works.  For anyone interested – here is how you do oil pulling:

Take a teaspoon of oil (sesame, coconut, olive, sunflower..etc.),put it in your mouth, and swish for approximately 10-15 minutes and then spit it out – not in your plants. It will kill your plants. And not in your sink, it will kill your plumbing – especially coconut oil.  In the trash, or in an area of dirt which doesn’t grow plants. This extracts an amazing amount of bacteria from your mouth, and remineralizes your teeth!  The bad stuff leaves and the good stuff stays.  Try this and you will realize what I mean.

For the toothpowder – you can use various ingredients that are known to be helpful for your teeth and gums:

cinnamon powder – clove powder – baking soda – sea salt – neem bark

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Gayatri Mantra

The Gayatri Mantra is considered to be one of the most powerful mantras from the Vedas.  Repeating 108 times daily is thought to bring about supreme changes to the psyche…allowing you to live a fulfilling and robust life. One hitch, and there always does seem to be one, is that it is in Sanskrit.  Not the easiest to pronounce, and of course, it is the rhythm and sound that makes it powerful.  Luckily, you can listen to it and it shall have a similar effect 🙂  I particularly enjoy this version of it…


  Make yourself feel good for the whole day!

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Your body is like a car…

If you regularly get oil changes and run a lubricant through the system – the engine will run smoothly and last longer. Translation:  Eat olive oil/sesame oil/ ghee / coconut oil/ you get the picture and rub it all over your joints

Take the car out of the garage on a regular basis – don’t just let it sit in the garage or the battery dies. Translation:  Get out and move

Make sure you put the recommended fuel in the engine so that it runs smoothly and last longer. Translation:  Eat fruits and veggies, seeds, nuts and whole grains!

Make sure there is enough coolant in the system.  Translation:  Drink water

Take care of the wear and tear parts like tires, breaks etc.  Translation: Move all your joints through all their ranges of motion and do exercises that maintain their strength (weight bearing exercises)

Take the care through a car wash periodically and make sure to get the undercarriage. Translation: really?

Give the engine a rest every once in a while so it doesn’t burn out. Translation: again, really?

Occasionally roll down the windows, blast the music and step on the peddle (safely) just to make sure everything is working!  Translation:  Have fun and play! 

You spend thousands of dollars on a car…well guess how much your body is worth? 

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